What stays with me from the ER
People often ask me what it was like to be an ER nurse. And my response- usually simple- something like “crazy,” “chaotic.” Which is true, but honestly? It’s not an easy question to answer. I sometimes struggle with what to say because putting those experiences into words just doesn’t do it justice. It’s strange though, when you’re in it, you don’t have time to stop and process - you just move from one patient to the next, pushing everything down so you can keep going. But once you leave and have some time to reflect, that’s when the memories start to surface. That’s when you realize what you’ve been carrying.
I’ve resuscitated dying children.
I’ve had people beg me to save them when I wasn’t sure I could.
I’ve built trust with psychiatric patients who had been stuck in the ER for months, because there’s no resources for them. Even when the week before they’d attacked me and I had to call the police.
I’ve cared for survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence.
I’ve tried to comfort children abandoned in the ER, only to watch them be failed again by the system.
I’ve had my life threatened more times than I can count, sometimes in gruesome detail that kept me awake at night.
I’ve been assaulted, bit, hit, kicked, spit on, scratched, and bruised.
I’ve seen sexism, racism, and just about every other kind of “-ism” there is.
I’ve cared for people of every walk of life from immigrants, to addicts, to the homeless.
And then came COVID. For a short while, there was more appreciation for healthcare workers. But people got sick of it, the gratitude faded quickly, and the abuse came back even stronger. I had a man angry about wearing a mask throw it on the floor, only to try to grab me by the hair from behind when I bent down to pick it up. Families yelled at me, blaming me for their loved one’s illness, calling ventilators a conspiracy- while I was still reeling from the lives I couldn’t save despite every desperate effort.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is, there are always things that come to mind when people say, “What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen in the ED?” The ruptured AAA, the high speed MVA w/ multi-system trauma- those are exciting. I’ve administered more life saving measures than I can count, but that’s not what stays with you over the years. It’s the brokenness.
Sometimes I’m grateful for it, because although I have definitely learned to watch my back, I’ve also learned no two stories are the same. Sometimes the people who look like they have it all together- most certainly do not. I learned to be grateful for what I have. We see the bare broken pieces of society that are frequently forgotten, or even intentionally ignored for personal comfort. The failures in our system that leave the most vulnerable people without real support. The raw, unfiltered reality of human suffering - things most people will never see. Some days that perspective feels like a weight, but other days it grounds me.
When I stepped away, I wasn’t sure if aesthetics was the right path. It felt almost too light, too different from the chaos I had come from. But the more I learned, the more I realized how much joy it brought—not just to the people I was treating, but to me as well.
In many ways, this work has become part of my healing journey. After years of trauma and survival, I’ve found a space filled with positivity, confidence, and small moments of happiness. It doesn’t erase what I went through, but it brings balance. And for that (and to all my amazing clients & supporters!), I’m deeply grateful.
The chaos of the ER shaped me into the provider I am today - steady, compassionate, and deeply human. And that’s exactly what I bring to the aesthetic world!
Simone Fyffe, RN
S. Fyffe RN Injections & Infusions LLC
7 Main Street suite 7 Peterborough NH
6032095655
Simone@sfrninjections.com